I'm pretty tired of messing up the same way that I always do. Always falling prey to the same old sins of the past and I haven't been bettering myself, it seems to be a never ending cycle. Every time I mess up, I look at myself in the mirror and get so upset. But as I constantly condemn myself and put myself down, I fail to realize that I have already been forgiven. I get so fed up with myself and I start to compare myself to others, asking why I can't be like them. Every time I look at them, I see how holy they are and how strongly their hearts are centered in Christ.Then I look back at myself and see so much junk and crud that is stuck on to me. But like I stated previously I am already forgiven for all my sins. Jesus Christ came as servant and king and he shed his blood for sinners like you and me. That's the beauty of grace, we who are so undeserving and worthless are shown steadfast love and mercy, so that we may be called beloved. I'm starting to realize just how power the gospel message truly is and how much of a factor it plays every single moment of my life here on earth. Everyday I have to remind myself of the gospel message regardless of how good or bad my day maybe. Whether that maybe abiding in him through the word, prayer, or even something as simple as preaching the gospel to myself. Regardless of the method that I may use the outcome of it all is the same, simply to preach and remind those around me and myself of the gospel message. When I feel alone and start reminiscing about things in the past or look to others for peace and joy, I know that the gospel message wasn't preached to me at that particular moment. So maybe that's what it means to pick up the cross and to die to yourself daily?
Excuse me if this is all over the place, but that's that. Constantly learning and growing just need to remind myself of the gospel message. Just need to keep striving towards him.
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." - Matthew 6:33
Monday, September 5, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Getting Owned.
So as of late I've been getting owned up. Not just owned up, but owned up to the MAX! It's crazy to see that January is pretty much over and that February is right around the corner, I mean where has the time gone? I can remember celebrating the coming of the new year as if it was last night, but in reality its already the 30th of January meaning 29 days have gone by since then. Wow seriously time flies by so quickly, I remember when I was left with a month in a half of break left and now I'm anticipating the start of the spring semester in two weeks.
I can recall telling myself that I would use every single of day of my break to the fullest. No matter what I planned on doing, I would glorify God through it and that alone would assure that I didn't waste any of my time. But now in retrospect it doesn't seem like I've done exactly that. My plans were to visit colleges in the month of January, what colleges have I visited? NONE. In one way or another things didn't workout, so the opportunity to see people and visit them at their respected colleges never happened.
Update 2/15/11: And everything I planned to do throughout my two month long winter break failed in someway or another. God's been showing me that things don't always goes as planned. When I planned things out with friends and try to control the future, surely enough God owned me up and it ended up not going the way I wanted it to. But by his grace, God showed me that I can't control every aspect of my life. Through events and through friends, he continues to teach and remind me that I have to let go and to let him work in my life. And everyday is a struggle, each unique in it's own way. But through every grueling day I am guided towards the right path that God provides for me. Some days I wander off that path and go left when God points and tells me to go right. Other days I go the way that God directs me; but regardless of which path I take the end result is always the same. I always see God standing there with his arms open wide and waiting for me at the end of my path.
Getting owned sucks, but in the end its all worth it.
I can recall telling myself that I would use every single of day of my break to the fullest. No matter what I planned on doing, I would glorify God through it and that alone would assure that I didn't waste any of my time. But now in retrospect it doesn't seem like I've done exactly that. My plans were to visit colleges in the month of January, what colleges have I visited? NONE. In one way or another things didn't workout, so the opportunity to see people and visit them at their respected colleges never happened.
Update 2/15/11: And everything I planned to do throughout my two month long winter break failed in someway or another. God's been showing me that things don't always goes as planned. When I planned things out with friends and try to control the future, surely enough God owned me up and it ended up not going the way I wanted it to. But by his grace, God showed me that I can't control every aspect of my life. Through events and through friends, he continues to teach and remind me that I have to let go and to let him work in my life. And everyday is a struggle, each unique in it's own way. But through every grueling day I am guided towards the right path that God provides for me. Some days I wander off that path and go left when God points and tells me to go right. Other days I go the way that God directs me; but regardless of which path I take the end result is always the same. I always see God standing there with his arms open wide and waiting for me at the end of my path.
Getting owned sucks, but in the end its all worth it.
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