tired of it.

I'm pretty tired of messing up the same way that I always do. Always falling prey to the same old sins of the past and I haven't been bettering myself, it seems to be a never ending cycle. Every time I mess up, I look at myself in the mirror and get so upset. But as I constantly condemn myself and put myself down, I fail to realize that I have already been forgiven. I get so fed up with myself and I start to compare myself to others, asking why I can't be like them. Every time I look at them, I see how holy they are and how strongly their hearts are centered in Christ.Then I look back at myself and see so much junk and crud that is stuck on to me. But like I stated previously I am already forgiven for all my sins. Jesus Christ came as servant and king and he shed his blood for sinners like you and me. That's the beauty of grace, we who are so undeserving and worthless are shown steadfast love and mercy, so that we may be called beloved. I'm starting to realize just how power the gospel message truly is and how much of a factor it plays every single moment of my life here on earth. Everyday I have to remind myself of the gospel message regardless of how good or bad my day maybe. Whether that maybe abiding in him through the word, prayer, or even something as simple as preaching the gospel to myself. Regardless of the method that I may use the outcome of it all is the same, simply to preach and remind those around me and myself of the gospel message. When I feel alone and start reminiscing about things in the past or look to others for peace and joy, I know that the gospel message wasn't preached to me at that particular moment. So maybe that's what it means to pick up the cross and to die to yourself daily?
Excuse me if this is all over the place, but that's that. Constantly learning and growing just need to remind myself of the gospel message. Just need to keep striving towards him.

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." - Matthew 6:33

Getting Owned.

So as of late I've been getting owned up. Not just owned up, but owned up to the MAX! It's crazy to see that January is pretty much over and that February is right around the corner, I mean where has the time gone? I can remember celebrating the coming of the new year as if it was last night, but in reality its already the 30th of January meaning 29 days have gone by since then. Wow seriously time flies by so quickly, I remember when I was left with a month in a half of break left and now I'm anticipating the start of the spring semester in two weeks.
I can recall telling myself that I would use every single of day of my break to the fullest. No matter what  I planned on doing, I would glorify God through it and that alone would assure that I didn't waste any of my time. But now in retrospect it doesn't seem like I've done exactly that. My plans were to visit colleges in the month of January, what colleges have I visited? NONE. In one way or another things didn't workout, so the opportunity to see people and visit them at their respected colleges never happened.

Update 2/15/11:  And everything I planned to do throughout my two  month long winter break failed in someway or another. God's been showing me that things don't always goes as planned. When I planned things out with friends and try to control the future, surely enough God owned me up and it ended up not going the way I wanted it to. But by his grace, God showed me that I can't control every aspect of my life. Through events and through friends, he continues to teach and remind me that I have to let go and to let him work in my life. And everyday is a struggle, each unique in it's own way. But through every grueling day I am guided towards the right path that God provides for me. Some days I wander off that path and go left when God points and tells me to go right. Other days I go the way that God directs me; but regardless of which path I take the end result is always the same.  I always see God standing there with his arms open wide and waiting for me at the end of my path.
Getting owned sucks, but in the end its all worth it.

forgetting

So its now the month of December and usually every year there's only one thing that comes to mind, that being Christmas. But this year has been different in a lot of ways. As soon as the Christmas season hit, surprisingly my mind wasn't on Christmas but rather on several different things. Since I am now a freshman in college all I've been thinking about is finals.
Studying for them, praying about them and stressing over them like no other. It's consumed my mind tremendously. And on top of that seeing friends come home, brings my mind further and further away from the real reason for this season. I am constantly reminded of why we celebrate Christmas, that reason being the birth of Jesus Christ.

In the midst of buying gifts, wanting to see people, and stressing over grades we forget to spend time in thanking God for the birth of his son. Without this monumental event occurring ,our lives would be worth nothing. It's amazing how we forget the most important birthday of all. We don't even have to get him a gift on his birthday, because he's the type of father to give gifts away on his birthday. He gave us the perfect gift of all, a gift that can never break or never get old. God gave us his son, Jesus Christ, so that he may give up his life as a ransom for our sins.

 Let's take time to really thank God for his son, cause without him we are nothing but worthless sinners.

To be...

For some time now, I've been told to update my blog. But whenever I sat down to blog, my mind always went blank or I just didn't feel like blogging anymore. It was odd, my mind kept wandering on several topics, always thinking if it was the right time to write about it or not. Now that I'm actually here and writing, I guess its finally time. Time to write what's on my heart and time to share it with the ones who choose to read/follow my blog. (Thank you to you guys who do, it really means a lot. I hope this blesses you all in some way and that God is glorified through it.)

Well I guess what's been on my heart lately is myself. Now I know that may sound very selfish and not humble at all, but before you go and jump to conclusions allow me to explain.

For some time now, I've told myself I wanted to change; I wanted to be viewed differently by everyone. But as time went by God showed me, who he wanted me to be and he also told me who I shouldn't be. As I started college I wanted to be the cool guy, the one that everyone loved and everyone wanted to hang out with. But as I went through my daily routines, God never gave me new friends as a matter of fact he held some of my old friends from me. I questioned and pointed the finger at him, wondering why he wouldn't bring me any comfort. He just straight up told me, " Peter, look towards me for comfort and be a man of God and not a man of this world." Now to this day, that has to be one of my toughest battles. To strive everyday to be a Man of God, and not to conform to what the world wants me to be. I don't need to have a smoking hot girlfriend to be cool, nor do I need to go and party to meet so called "new friends". I guess it took me a long time to recognize this but the one and only thing I need in my life is God.

And every single waking moment, its a challenge. Whenever I see that hot chick that I want to go talk to, I know its not me that wants meet her, but the physical side of me. If I wanted to meet someone, I'd like to meet them for who they are not just because I'm physically attracted to them. Other times when I focus on my body and my physical attributes, I know I'm not glorifying God by going to the gym that day or night. Because as I lift, all I would be focused on is looking good and being attractive to others. But I know thats not why God wants me in the fitness world, he put me here so I can live a healthy lifestyle that glorifies him and help others achieve that same goal. I will always be tempted by many things, constantly telling me to look the other way and be a man of this world. But its in those times, that I would like to strive and persevere to be a man of God.

No one ever said it would be easy, but as it is said in Luke 1:37 "Nothing is impossible with God."

My Daily Reminder

Disgusted..

So to make matters worse, the Celtics lost the NBA championships. Regardless of what team I support, it was overall a great game. To be the only Celtics fan in a room filled with Laker fans was another added bonus. But as I was flipping through channels on the TV, I stopped on the abc 7 news channel. They were talking about how after the lakers had won, fans all over LA went berserk. They were so excited about the lakers winning, they decided to bash people's windows in and just create chaos everywhere they went. Then they went more in depth about a taxi driver, who was victimized by a group of fans. The poor man was stopped by the group and was forced out of his car. Then they decided to destroy the cab and then set it on fire. Then they just let the car burn and they walked away. Then the man was interviewed and he just seemed so sad and confused. Wondering how such an event, as the lakers winning, can lead to him losing his car and more importantly his job. The man kept talking about how that car was his life, and how all his important documents were left in there.

Now left with absolutely nothing, this poor man sits and wonders why him. Of all cars to be stopped it had to be his. I personally feel very sad for him, and on the other hand disgusted. Disgusted by the world we live in, not to be negative nancy or anything, but cmon. Really? was all that raucous necessary? To rob a man of his car, job and pretty much his life, just cause the Lakers won? I understand being excited about having your favorite team win a championship, but to set cars on fire and do all that is just uncalled for. So frustrated about that story, I wish that man nothing but the best in his future.

playing alone

Have you ever played catch by yourself? I highly doubt it, cause who does that. Well it seems like thats what I've been doing lately, throwing a ball and waiting for the other person to throw it back, so we can get the game started. That game for me never started, and I still sit and wait to have that ball thrown back towards my direction. It sucks to just sit and wait, all this anticipation is No Bueno. At least having the ball thrown back would help, but it seems as if they don't want to play with me.

They pretty much have the ball in their hands, and they continue to toy with me. Acting like they are going to throw it, then faking me out and leaving me with a false sense of hope. But what is one suppose to do? Sit and wait, believing that little sense of hope will pull through? Or do I just leave them and have them start a new game, with someone they are actually willing to play with? If they threw the ball back, and even if it didn't reach me, I would be willing to help them out. Assisting them in the process, so that the game of catch will eventually be an on going game, that never stops. Ya it may start slow and it may take a long time to get the ball flying back and forth, but it would be one game I would be willing to invest my time into.

Well one things for sure, playing alone sucks...

God is still Good

So lately, I've been having this theme in my head continuously come up. It just seems to reoccur, every single day and in every single prayer. The theme that God is still Good. This small saying seems to be applicable to every situation in life. No matter what we go through, good or bad, God is still Good. It's amazing to be able to proclaim such a powerful set of words, when things in the world today, don't seem to go the way we want. When we have people in the world suffering and dieing everyday, God is still Good. When we have billionaires wiping their butts with 100$ bills, God is still Good. NO matter how good or bad it may seem, God is still Good.

But how often do we go around saying this, when we lose a family member, mostly likely the first thought in our head is not God is still Good, but rather why God, what did I do to deserve this? And thats reasonable, when something or someone is lost and gone forever, how are we to stand and say God you are still Good? Of course its easy to say it when we are happy and life is going as smooth as butter. Why wouldn't you lift up praises to him? God is watching over you and he is allowing you to be free and happy! But as soon as the sun goes down and your heart is surrounded by darkness, we go back to square one, and start blaming and asking God

why this?! why that?! and so on.

How easily we change from modes of praising God to blaming God, is quite remarkable. We do it all the time, and we may not even be aware of it. But a challenge that I believe we should all try is to praise God in all circumstances. Good and Bad, from the greatest moments of our lives to the worst and everything in between. I believe if we do this, Life will always be happy and joyful, and God will ALWAYS be Good.

May all praise and glory be lifted up to you, Lord.