Companionship

It sucks, how much I depend on others for companionship. I always need people to be there for me to comfort me, in my time of need. When all seems to fail, the first thing I want to do is call someone and just Vent. And if you know me, that's what I do best. All I do is vent about everything and anything. No matter what the topic maybe from girls all the way to grapes. ( not really grapes, but you get what I mean) Just recently I can see how much friends effect me on a daily basis. Only two days of school have gone by and yet I feel so alone. Not having many people to talk with and not having many close friends in class. It sucks so much, and its so pathetic. How is it that in the first two days of school I feel so alone? I wish I could have a person there for me, whenever and where ever, but I know deep in my heart that I shouldn't be looking for that satisfaction in friends or family. I should be looking and yearning for that satisfaction from God. Only he can provide me with that love, which I search for in my friends and family.And as time goes on I know I will still fail to seek Christ first and foremost, but by the grace of God, he will always be there for me. No matter what I may have done. And that's the indescribable beauty of my Lord, Jesus Christ. May I seek you in the mist of my troubles but also in the times of jubilee.

summer...

As the last week of school was just around the corner, the first thoughts of my summer was, it's gonna be lame. And now that most of the summer as gone by, I can confidently say that it wasn't anything close to a lame summer, but in retrospect it was by far the best summer of my life.
Sure I was stuck at work from nine to five everyday, but by working everyday, I finally learned the value of money and hard work. I didn't spend any of the money on myself, but I gladly spent it on others, first by giving my parents an allowance. It was my small way of saying thank you, for everything you have done. Next I bought everyone food, and anything else they wanted. Since my job was so easy and pain free, it never felt as if i was working the whole summer, but more in a sense of playing everyday. Considering my job as play and not work, the money was a blessing and since it came so easily I didn't feel bad spending so freely on others.

But when I wasn't at work, I was at church, simply planning for retreat and getting closer with my youth ministry. By planning for retreat, I learned that there was more to retreat planning than just picking a campsite and a theme. And by going through such a rigorous process of planning, I respect the leaders of my youth ministry so much more.

But I would have to say the highlight of my summer wasn't getting all that money or retreat planning, instead it was the chance that God blessed me with, to get closer to a few of my youth ministry members. With the opportunity that God had given me;a sinner, I took full advantage of it.God had graciously bestowed upon me a community, that loves me and cares for me.With that community behind me, I feel confident in everything that I do, no matter what it maybe. Because I know that they will always have my back and that they will always keep me accounted for.

And it is simply by God's grace that, this "Lame Summer" has turned out to be the best summer of my life. There truly aren't enough ways to say thank you to him, but I know by trying my best in everything and by putting my best foot forward in all that i do,is all he is asking of me. I've learned so much this summer which is a blessing in its own, I pray and hope that he will continue to keep this community around me and that he will watch over me, this coming up school year.

"My Community"