I'm pretty tired of messing up the same way that I always do. Always falling prey to the same old sins of the past and I haven't been bettering myself, it seems to be a never ending cycle. Every time I mess up, I look at myself in the mirror and get so upset. But as I constantly condemn myself and put myself down, I fail to realize that I have already been forgiven. I get so fed up with myself and I start to compare myself to others, asking why I can't be like them. Every time I look at them, I see how holy they are and how strongly their hearts are centered in Christ.Then I look back at myself and see so much junk and crud that is stuck on to me. But like I stated previously I am already forgiven for all my sins. Jesus Christ came as servant and king and he shed his blood for sinners like you and me. That's the beauty of grace, we who are so undeserving and worthless are shown steadfast love and mercy, so that we may be called beloved. I'm starting to realize just how power the gospel message truly is and how much of a factor it plays every single moment of my life here on earth. Everyday I have to remind myself of the gospel message regardless of how good or bad my day maybe. Whether that maybe abiding in him through the word, prayer, or even something as simple as preaching the gospel to myself. Regardless of the method that I may use the outcome of it all is the same, simply to preach and remind those around me and myself of the gospel message. When I feel alone and start reminiscing about things in the past or look to others for peace and joy, I know that the gospel message wasn't preached to me at that particular moment. So maybe that's what it means to pick up the cross and to die to yourself daily?
Excuse me if this is all over the place, but that's that. Constantly learning and growing just need to remind myself of the gospel message. Just need to keep striving towards him.
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." - Matthew 6:33
